IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

salam.

cannot sleep but its already 0436 late night. should or should not to call it night?. lets make a deal its night. i having this kinda difficulties to adapt of what was going on lately.

grampa passed away on Wednesday after Zuhr. its not a matter of our incoherent relations. truth to be told the last time i met him, sorry i cant even recall that moment. but its approximately past few years ago.

a few weeks before, dad asked me to give him a visit at least. And i am start to calculate on how much the visit worth for me and for him as well.

during child age we often to visit him during eid, every single years. As far as i am concerned the tradition stopped when i reached 16. just because of an indistinct reasons i guess. but im not even sure of why the stops.

i just thought. alah he is just an atok angkat. so that it is not a different either we going to his place or not during raya. Grampa also a public figure in our kampung so that our absent to his place does not register any uneasy feeling upon him.

i dont know. it is just my theory.

but its started yesterday when dad got a phone call informed that grampa just gone. for god sake i just felt a bit devastated at first. then dad said, "ha tu lah kau tak sempat nak tengok dia kan..." i started to think that i am the heartless barbarian.

then i decided to join the preparation for his funeral. we are among the earliest to reached at his place due to non-distance issue. so i had a chance to see his total calm face.

i was advised once to have a look at dead body by starting from the legs. but yesterday i just violated the rule,  and grampa's face shown a deep calm like he just had a good quality of sleep rather than dead. his eye-bag reduced. and his face is just clean.

i dont know, you might see this as just an exaggeration. but he is an Imam besar , you'll surely know what his dead body deserves to look alike.

his dead followed by a cat and dog's rain. if you know what that mean. i dont know, i merely saying that.

now i just thinking that,  ramai orang berilmu dah diangkat, so yang tinggal orang orang yang bakal mencetuskan kerosakkan. im just afraid that i am one of the khasirin. if you know what i mean.

this is the second time i left the dying man just like that. the first is my late ustaz mengaji. he went to pilgrimage and never come back. i just to optimist of having a time to visit him after his return . during the solat jenazah ghaib pun i also not there.

yeah... i am bad. and you guys who read this. please recite fatihah for my late grampa and ustaz mengaji as well... they were good people.

oh... by the way nuffnang is fucking me up. they rejecting my cash out because they say i'd clicks my own ads and you guys click my ads repeatedly for cheating purpose.

fa'yu nuffnang. like i care. im not dying to be paid la.. so GFY money!

WAITING AND WATCHING

Salam.

waiting for an update huh?., well today your wait will worth it.

this one should be in the entry in between of my previous and this post, for some unknown reason it already lost whatever, i still wanna attach them in here.

benda paling gua tak gemar
celaka betul bila gua tengah dengar lagu dekat handphone tiba tiba battery drain. lagi celaka bila gua dah kunci jam siap siap untuk bangun pagi tapi battery drain lagi sebelum alarm sempat berbunyi, dan gua pun bangun lewat, bila gua lewat objek paling gua benci adalah telefon yang tak berbunyi kejutkan gua, cam haram.

ok lets have a look of what-now things.

cannot sleep tonight, thinking about an abandoned blog which happened to be mine. esok kena datang modul. itu lah siapa suruh dok sibuk nak mengaji kat UiTM, universiti melayu. so datanglah program program yang telah dirancang untuk memantapkan jati diri mahasiswa yang tidak mantap.

whatever. aku still tak faham dari sudut mana perlunya benda benda sebegini. its not a free thing, they have to spend a number of money to held this kind of activity. bukan benda free ya. but the point is, berbaloi ke?. 

ha siapa nak jawab nie?, berbaloi ke setiap program yang anda anjurkan tersebut?. berubah ke minda audience anda?. then for the sake of who/what this program was held. 

atau sengaja nak perabih duit yang berlonggok tataw nak buat pa?. macam cilaka la kalau depa utilize the money this way. 

aku mungkin mentah untuk memahami kenapa perlunya aktiviti aktiviti sebegini, mungkin untuk memanfaatkan masa terluang remaja yang tak ada asaimen untuk disiapkan, tapi kalau yang ada berderet asaimen dok tunggu macam mana pula?.

you wanna know what kind of hecticvity that i meant?

• chicken dance
• pizza hut song
• LDK
• performance
• atas bukit ada daun daun cantik tak pernah lihat [cannot remember the song's title and wont!]

and whatever such embarrassing and childish.

i do not need those!

it is not because i am matured enough but it is because its stupid and not fun at all. i swear i am suffering and not enjoy it. please read my face and track the rebel sign.

ah!.... forget it, no matter what, i still have to be there.

i just watching 127 hours. cool movie.

pandangan hadapan

top view

spending almost an hour just watching a dude who his hand stuck on the rock in the canyon. but i bet he had a  shaver with him, even after a couple of days he still managed to have a decent moustache and beard , aha.

so kids, next time when you went out for bag-packing always consider a shaver as a must item. so that your video log will tape you as handsome man stuck in the middle of nowhere. whatever.

chow

appreciate water people!.. 

UPDATE

Salam

i used to blog once upon a time ago, but today the feel of blogging kinda fade away little by little, aku tak tonton banyak movie sekarang nie, maka kreativiti aku terhad untuk sesuatu yang tak perlukan kreativiti sangat, macam mana nak cakap entah. pandai pandai la...

kebelakangan nie aku dah mula kisah dengan hal hal remeh yang orang tak kisah. making me awkward and over worry untuk benda benda yang remeh. maka kerap juga aku tanya soalan soalan remeh dan bodo bak kata orang orang terrer. bila soalan yang keluar berjenis bodo, maka aku akan jadi objek jengkel yang tak keruan memek mukanya. tapi peduli apa...

aku sedang dalam perancangan untuk memajukan diri. bukan aku seorang nak majukan diri, sebenarnya semua orang sedang bermati mati nak kaya dan berjaya. paling tidak ada rumah yang selesa kereta dan keluarga bahagia. tapi nak tak nak kena bergolok gadai, kalau duduk atas tilam main facebook, twitter dan blogwalking je. bila nak berjayanya?...

dalam banyak banyak perkara yang buat aku runsing adalah keberlangsungan hidup dan rancangan pembinaan masa depan yang cerah, aku risau kalau kesuraman kemerosotan or any kind of deterioration will bring me down dan buat aku malas untuk wake up. aku memang senang malas. tapi once aku rajin aku akan rajin dan orang akan tengok sinis. celaka... ingat aku pemalas sangat?..

i had a simple principle, i can love people easily and i can hate people forever. itu mudah jea. aku dah banyak kali dikondem untuk hal hal yang tak masuk akal, tapi aku guna sisa nyawa yang tinggal untuk chill dan tarik nafas, aku bukan jenis yang boleh diajak sparring tapi kalau kena tumbuk aku takkan diam. jadi apasal aku nak cerita pasal aku kat sini?.  apa benda sangat yang aku mengarut nie?. ah.. sudahlah!. study..

THE DYING MAN

Salam

this preview is not cool and rich with disturbing element, watching is at your own risk

I watched this clip last night dan hari ini aku rasa trauma sikit, but honestly i can stand watching horror movie which full of blood and cut here and there, yet i even watch Hostel 1 and 2, Wrongturn 123. both can be classified as horror enough for me. I am having my mate watching hostel once, suddenly his eyes turned red then he ran out to the drain infront of my house. he vomit there then. what a fag. haha

but in this rarely occasion i cannot bear to watch the man dying, He keep asking for a help, his tangan dan anggota badan yang lain scattered all over the place and blood filled up dekat tempat duduk driver. unfortunately nobody even can do a thing or two. The guy who thought her to recite the syahadah also not holding up his head and taught the dying man properly. He merely shout dekat sebelah sebelah je. not even straight to his ear.

and finally the man die. the ambulan pun datang lewat ke tempat kejadian. but as a prediction i could say that the man got not much time left. poor him. May Allah put him with solehin and mu'minin di alam barzakh.

sebagai manusia yang masih hidup, safety must be numero uno. do recite doa as the engine start. jangan belagak sangat, paling koman pun bacalah bismillah. se rempit rempit anda di jalanan, jangan lupa malang tak berbau bhai!.

we have a bad reading on fatal accident statistic, dont put yourself in it. You can make it different.